Author: Sirona, Posted: Sun Jun 6, 2021 9:17 PM, Post Subject: Deep Into Your Mind [P][R]

[OOC: Gmod granted from Serafina and given in return.]

Sirona nodded to Serafina’s words of advice. ”It is for me, I need to know why I think the way that I do, or act the way that I do in, uh… certain circumstances.” She sighed. ”Like I said, even just being able to look at myself in a mirror would be a huge help, hard to comb out your own hair when you can’t see it.” She actually managed a small grin, whether that was an intended joke was hard to tell, she was not good at such things, but at least the effort seemed to be there.

Serafina then explained more of what she had to do to make things work the way they hoped and what that might entail for Sirona. At Serafina’s chosen turn of phrase that she apologized for Sirona actually cracked a small grin again, and at that kind of joke that was something! It still looked force, because it was, but at least she did not grimace instead? ”I can remove my armour if I have to, don’t stress over making a change for that.” Sirona replied. ”I understand the risks and I still want to continue.” She looked right at Serafina. ”Please, join me in this?” She requested, it had been offered to start with but Sirona wanted to make sure that Serafina was willing to go with her through this. It would be strange to share what could be a very intimate memory with someone, but, at this moment, short of her own sister and parents, Serafina was the only person she trusted with this.

As Serafina worked on manipulating the trial, Sirona stood and started to remove her armour. More to the point, it started to remove itself! She lifted her feet in turn and the whole leggings slid off in one smooth motion, she had not undone any buckles either, it just came off. The leggings stood upright on their own and Sirona was wearing her usual oversized white pants that showed nothing of her figure. Next the arms came off, much the same, on their own and hovered in the air, she then raised her arms up and her whole chest-plate floated off of her and linked back to the leggings. The arms then connected themselves and the whole set of armour just stood there, empty, on its own, gently swaying. Sirona looked to it and then to Serafina and blinked. ”Oh, uh, ya, my armour, is alive… kind of, it’s not thinking on its own, it just acts on, I guess instinct is the best term. When someone swings a sword at me it can shift itself to better protect me and if it’s damaged it will repair itself. Plus it can defend me on its own if needed.” As she said that she made a motion and the armour snapped the hidden blade out of its right arm and the magical shield phased into view from its left. After a moment they faded and it stood still again.

This was a bit of a nervous stalling tactic on Sirona’s part because she was obviously incredibly nervous. ”Sorry, please, let me know when you’re ready for me to go into the room.”

Sirona waited anxiously for Serafina to do her work on the design of the challenge that Sirona would now enter. At that moment she was wishing she had brought Lume with her, being able to hold the little fuzzy owl griffon was a comforting action for Sirona. A sensory input that let her focus and calm her mind when she was in a moment of anxiety, she had a lot to thank Lume for since she had found and healed him. When Serafina said that she was ready for Sirona, Lady Glory took in a deep breath as she stood in front of the door. ”This is for me, no one else.” She muttered to herself, breathed, looked to Serafina and then back to the door again before she stepped through. ”Whatever happens, please, don’t stop it…”

Pain.

Pain from her stomach had her doubled over on her side on a cold stone floor. Her eyes were closed as she gasped for air, coughing as she did. Drawing in a ragged breath she opened her eyes and squinted at the bright light of… where she was. She could see a figure standing over her, very tall, well built with long blond hair tucked into a helm on the figured head. A swift movement from the tall figured booted foot had Sirona crying out in pain again through gasps for breath as she was again kicked in the stomach. ”Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?” Spoke a masculine voice, but it did not come from the figure standing over her. She knew that voice though!

Sirona got her eyes open again and looked around, being kicked in the stomach now at least twice was rather painful and she was not making fast movements. Standing just off to one side was Gabriel, her own ‘brother’, so that meant the one kicking her was Uriel! ”I told you she was fucked in the head!” Uriel spat as she looked to Gabriel.

Gabriel looked to Uriel and nodded. ”You were correct, Uriel, thank you, dear sister, for bringing them to me.”

Sirona looked around as her mind started to sync with the memory she was reliving again. ”Where is she?!” She gasped.

”Quiet!” Uriel snapped and kicked Sirona again.

Sirona was now wearing plain white robes, a more typical look for an angel perhaps. Otherwise, she looked the same, younger perhaps, but age was next to impossible to cage with their kind to start with. One that would stand out, more so perhaps to Serafina if she was watching somehow, was that at this point in time, Sirona lacked her tattoo work, her skin was flawless, none of the black ink touched her skin. Sirona coughed again for breath as her two older ‘siblings’ spoke again between themselves. ”She’s a whore, I knew it.” Uriel crouched down closer to Sirona for a moment before she scoffed. ”Not sure why anyone would want you anyway, unpleasant and obnoxious as you are.” Uriel stood and looked back to Gabriel again.

He stepped closer now and looked down as Sirona started to work her way to a sitting position. She wasn’t bound, but at this point in her life she was not aware that was capable of taking both of them in a fight if she just tried. ”You’re a disgrace, Sirona, you know that? Taking to bed with that other slut, but don’t worry, she’ll get her own… re-education, just like you. That kind of Sin cannot and will NOT be tolerated within the Kingdom, do you understand?” The archangel questioned.

Sirona glared at him. ”If you hurt her, I’ll..” She was cut off when Uriel moved in a flash and punched her square in the jaw sending Sirona sprawling to the floor again. She grunted in pain, she had been surprised before, but now she was ready for it, tears still formed in her eyes but she did not cry out in pain.

”You’ll what?! What do you think you can do, whore?”

”I’m not a whore! We were just…”

”I caught the two of you together, so don’t try and deny it, bitch! Be thankful Gabriel is the forgiving sort and told me not to kill the both of you for that kind of Sin!”

”Take a breath, Uriel.” Gabriel cut in. ”You can say that you love her all you want, Sirona, but it does not change the fact that you have committed a grievous Sin, and that cannot go unpunished. So, you’ll stay in here and think about what you did, until you realize what kind of gross acts you have taken, Uriel will assist you should you need… help.” He smiled and it was not a nice smile, like he was enjoying this, looked like at this point he already did not like Sirona anyway. ”I’m going to have a little chat with your friend, in the meantime, Uriel, please, re-educate her.” With that Gabriel left the room.

Uriel watched him go and then looked back to Sirona who was getting back into an upright position again. ”Now this, this is going to be some good learning for you, whore, I’m going to make sure that you now where you stand in life.” She stalked forward and kicked Sirona again, this time in the side her head almost knocking her out.

The memory played out, almost in fast-forward as Sirona was berated and beaten down by the much taller archangel. It took three days for Uriel to crack Sirona, breaking her down to a whimpering mess, time meant little and Uriel just sipped water now and then, sleep was not necessary for them so this continued almost without stop for those three days. Constant beating, verbal abuse of all kinds, Sirona never got to her feet once. Uriel would wait for her to almost standing before kicking the back of her knee out dropping the weakened Sirona to the stone floor again.

Satisfied with her work Uriel left Sirona in there alone, naked and cold, humiliating her further, for another two days. When she came back she threw a tunic and pants at Sirona. ”Fucking hell you’re unsightly.” Uriel snorted as Sirona put the clothing on. ”I’m going to ask you some questions and then you’re going to answer me. Who are you?”

”Sirona.”

”What are you?”

”An angel in the Army of Light.”

”What do you think of yourself and others?”

”I’m hideous, everyone else looks better than me.”

Uriel smiled. ”Good, you have learned, we’ll see if it sticks, now, get the fuck out of my sight and go back to your quarters and clean up, you smell fucking terrible.”

Sirona did just that, rushing back to her quarters and going to get herself cleaned up. However, as she was going to step into a shower she caught a look at herself in the mirror and froze before shuddering at the sight of herself naked, just like she did in the present. She broke down and slumped in the shower and rocked back and forth.

Something clicked.

”NO!” Sirona screamed and her raw rage combined with her Strength Aspect helped her shatter the memory the room was forcing her to relive. ”THOSE BASTARDS!” She screamed again looking around at the now empty room, breathing heavily, the fury in her eye was clear as they were glowing overly brightly as she was not controlling her Light Aspect either. She looked around and clenched her fists a few times, it would appear she was looking for something to break in her hands, finding nothing handy she instead drove a fist into the closet wall.

Sirona’s blazing blue eyes looked to Serafina for a long moment before she finally breathed in and then out as she calmed herself. ”I… I remember, I remember what Uriel did to me, what Gabriel did to her.” Sirona looked to Serafina as she calmed down her rage was giving way to sorrow. ”I… I need to sit and breath and then I’ll tell you everything that I can remember that you might not have seen there. About what happened before, and after, and what I can remember what happened to my lover, what they did to her…”

Author: Serafina, Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 12:42 PM, Post Subject: Deep Into Your Mind [P][R]

Serafina could sense Sirona’s hesitation when it came to finding more out about her past, that which she could not remember. ”Don’t do this for anyone other than yourself, Sirona,” Serafina interjected when the angelic goddess mentioned that she thought she could perhaps become more ‘normal,’ as she had phrased it. ”You are a goddess and you owe nothing to anyone, other than yourself. If you want to change your behavior by getting to the root of the cause, I am more than happy to help by any means available, but only if we are doing it for the right reasons.” Serafina’s words were firm, but it was clear that they were meant to be caring.

She nodded as Sirona went on to explain that this would be a better alternative than having everything shoved back into her mind at once. That was never the way to go – overstimulating the mind in such a manner never led to anything good for anyone, and for someone who seemed to be in such a fragile state as Sirona was, it most certainly would not be a good idea.

”It’s going to take a bit of planning, I’m afraid, before we can get you in there. Inferos isn’t exactly set up to help people, but rather to almost… well, torture them,” she said, frowning slightly. She knew that Sirona wasn’t a fan of such things, but what else would she expect? Serafina did essentially rule over Hell, and torture and Hell sort of went hand in hand. ”Since I created the realm, essentially, I can manipulate it… but the thing is, I’ve never done it before. It’s going to take some trial and error, and there are bound to be some hiccups along the way. Fortunately, you’re immortal, so it won’t be able to kill you,” she added as an afterthought. ”But I can’t make any guarantees that it will be pleasant. In fact, most likely, it’s going to probably be rather unpleasant. I can’t imagine having memories that are long forgotten, specifically those that could be traumatizing, being just shoved back into you, like a bad lover,” she said, though she shot Sirona a look of apology upon saying that. ”Sorry, just a saying,” she said, knowing that it would probably come off as offensive to Sirona, even though she hadn’t intended for it to be.

”So the biggest thing that happens when people go through this… test… is that they aren’t allowed armor or weapons. I know that will be difficult for you, I know that your armor is essentially part of who you are, but it’s a sacrifice you’re going to have to make. I don’t think I can get rid of that part of the trials,” she said, though her brow was certainly furrowed as though she were trying to think of a way.

”The trial also has a nasty habit of… making things up, if that’s the right way to phrase it. You’re going to have to sift through the memories of what is real, and what isn’t, and you have to promise to yourself that you won’t let old grudges resurface. We want to relax your psyche, not inhibit it further,” she continued. ”The next thing to think about is the fact that the trial usually has to be undergone alone, which could be rather dangerous for you, though not fatal,” she continued. ”If you’d like, I could go through it with you… but that would also mean any of the memories you would be learning about, would also become knowledge to me as well. That’s a decision that you’re going to have to make on your own, I cannot make that one for you.”

She looked at Sirona, waiting for her to comment on whether or not she would want to do it alone. While she waited for a response, her mind quickly went to work on what exactly she was going to have to manipulate in order for this to work.

Author: Sirona, Posted: Thu May 6, 2021 6:23 PM, Post Subject: Deep Into Your Mind [P][R]

The walk back to the Second Circle was done in silence, though, surprisingly, at least in Sirona’s eyes, it was not an awkward silence. More like, a silence between two friends who, at that moment, did not have anything much to say to each other, but both knew that neither was ignoring the other. It was an odd feeling for Sirona, as this was the first time she had that kind of feeling with someone else. The fact that she was also arm-in-arm with Serafina and had not broken that connection between them, also said something about Sirona; she was getting more comfortable, or at least, forcing herself to be more comfortable with that kind of contact.

They arrived back, greeted at the door by the one male bartender who Sirona was starting to think he oversaw the rest of them. They went back to a private room once more and drinks were brought to the two Goddesses, but while Serafina’s had hers poured, Sirona’s was not. Instead the man bowed and Sirona gave a small nod in reply as he left and she leaned forward to pour herself some juice. He had not poured either because he was showing respect for her space, or, because he didn’t know what she wanted. Either way, Sirona was not offended as she sipped her drink and leaned back in the seat next to Serafina.

It was Serafina who broke the silence as she started to explain Infernos and what was to come if Sirona decided to go ahead with the idea to reach into her forgotten memories and see what came up. Brilliant blue eyes glanced away from Serafina for a moment and Sirona gave it one last moment to think it over before returning her gaze back to Serafina. ”I’m willing to try, if we find something that can help me, or at least explain why I am the way I am, then I want to know. Maybe I work on it and be more, uh, ‘normal’, or, maybe it’s just how I am, either way, I want to know.” She sighed and sipped her drink. ”Like I said, when Lume decided to jump into my lap when I was trying to put on a clean shirt I nearly jumped out of my skin and thew him across the room, poor little guy was just as startled as I was. I don’t want to be like that, or at least that bad, if someone offers me a hand to shake I don’t want to react by giving it a look before reaching for it like it might kill me.”

She nodded. ”So, yes, I want to try this, short of having my sister drop all my memories back into my head at once, which could just make things worse as everything comes back at once. I’d rather try this first and then talk to my sister if I think I want to remember everything.” She finished her drink in a gulp and then poured another. ”I’m ready when you are, but I am in no rush either.” The latter an invitation to ask any more questions that Serafina might have before moving to Infernos.

Author: Serafina, Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2021 9:32 PM, Post Subject: Deep Into Your Mind [P][R]

As Serafina and Sirona walked arm-in-arm back to the Second Circle, it took Serafina quite a bit of willpower not to chuckle at the hilarity she found in their current situation. Not all that long ago, they had literally been attempting to tear one another limb from limb, and both of them had partially succeeded. It seemed absolutely ludicrous that they were here now, forging some semblance of a friendship between the two of them. Of course, they had both realized that it would certainly be more detrimental than helpful if they were to remain enemies, instead deciding to make amends with one another and work on their differences in order for the relationship to be forged. That didn’t change the ridiculousness of the situation, however, but Serafina chose to remain silent instead of bringing it up, as she was sure that Sirona was most likely thinking something along the same lines.

When they arrived, the pair was greeted at the door by Jasuin. He motioned swiftly to one of the other bartenders – a male, who Serafina was having difficulty remembering his name – who got to work immediately getting one of Serafina’s favorite bottles of wine ready, along with a few non-alcoholic choices for Sirona. Jasuin obviously was well informed about Sirona’s choices, as it seemed almost automatic, as though he had already instructed his underling on what to prepare when the two goddesses arrived.

Jasuin politely escorted the pair back to a private room, one of Serafina’s own, where they would be able to speak in peace. The other employee followed suit and deposited the beverage selections, pouring a glass for Serafina. He did not pour anything for Sirona, as he was not sure what she would like, but bowed deeply to her as another form of respect before leaving the room. The room had been warded to be soundproof, so as soon as Jasuin took his leave, the two were in complete privacy.

Serafina sat down on one of the couches, motioning for Sirona to sit next to her. There would be enough space between them for Sirona to remain comfortable with it, but so that it was a bit more intimate of a conversation. Once Sirona sat down, Serafina grabbed her glass that had been poured for her, taking a deep drink of the red wine. ”So,” she said slowly, leaning back against the sofa. ”Inferos is a very complicated place. I assume you are familiar with the different circles, yes? Well, we won’t be visiting any of those.” She paused, thought it wasn’t for effect. It seemed that she was trying to figure out the best way to explain to Sirona what she wanted to say.

”When someone comes to Inferos seeking audience with me at the Hall of Indulgence, there is a test that they must undergo, of sorts. There are many doors, and one must pass through a door before being allowed into my home,” she said. ”What lies beyond these doors is specifically tailored to one’s darkest indulgence,” she said. ”You might think that this isn’t exactly a punishment, but they have to make it out before they can see me… and what is harder to leave than that what you crave endlessly?” she asked. It was a question that normally would have dripped with innuendo and connotation, but in this present conversation it was posed as nothing more than a simple question.

”I should be able to manipulate the realm enough where we can pull those hidden and lost memories from your psyche, but there might be a few kinks to work out,” she said. ”It’s going to be a rather risky experiment. No risk of death, of course, that’s a bit more difficult to accomplish for us… but you might find things out about yourself that you don’t want to, things you won’t be able to forget,” she said.

Her gaze became rather serious and she looked into Sirona’s eyes. ”What do you think? Think it’s something you’re willing to try?”