“Okay,” Xeik said as he wrote down a few more lines in his notebook. “So, it seems to be under control, but I recommend taking lessons of sorts from…” He paused. “Well, anyone really. Take your pick. Simone, Rex, Mia…all of them have shifting tendencies and while it isn’t exactly the same, they probably all have their own insight in how it works.”

Lewis grumbled, “And this will help me sleep again?”

The Divine Mender shrugged. “Maybe. It’ll at least get the transformation out of your system. We can go from there.”

The ex-assassin looked as though he wasn’t done yet.

“You…okay?” Xeik asked.

“Simone wants…to try a surrogate,” Lewis said suddenly.

Xeik stared at Lewis for a moment. “Like…for a baby?” Lewis nodded in response. “Oh,” the healer replied with a curious look. “Well, there are a few ways to go about it. I can-”

“Simone wants to interview them with a panel of her, you, and Dala. And she wants it to be as traditional as possible…” Lewis seemed almost distraught at the thought.

“Oh, so…”

“Yeah…”

Xeik almost felt bad for Lewis. Almost. “Well…I can see what we can do about arranging some candidates.”

The moment Xeik agreed, Simone waltzed in with a portal, a wide smile across her face. “I have a list of requirements…”

Simone looked so innocent in front of them. It was the first time she had that look to her since Lewis dealt with the younger version of her. She was twirling her hair shyly something Xeik had never seen before. “Do you want to see it Xeik?” There was a blush across her face that was amusing in a way.

“Yeah, it can’t be too hard to find a woman you like,” Xeik seemed optimistic…

That was until Simone took the scroll and gave it a good smack. The list unrolled all the way down and rolled across the floor. Xeik’s eyes got huge as he realized… It was never that fucking easy with Simone Terrowin.

“Simone… You have to understand that finding someone with all these requirements…”

“I am not budging. This is what I want,” Simone said firmly. “My children will have great pedigrees and I will not take anything less. I have standards that I am not dropping even if it takes us years to find the right woman.”

The list was absurdly long, and something that Lewis had been waiting for. He had felt it when she was making it, and knew very well how complicated her thought process was. And of course, whoever the “lucky” woman was would have to sleep with Lewis. That alone was the hardest part in all of this. Lewis and Simone were only attracted to each other. It was impossible for him to want or desire anyone else the way he wanted Simone.

That, though, would be a problem for after the candidate was selected.

“Okay,” Xeik said as he started at the top of the list. “Must be…5’0 to 5’10 in height. Must be fit. Must have…” The list went on and on, and after a while the healer gave up reading it. “Fine…just…just give me a week. We’ll do the meetings here. Just…come on time, okay?”

—

The panel was set, and the three judges were sitting side by side at the table. The first candidate was set to walk in, and Lewis opened the door. The woman was a little taller than Simone’s initial request, but she held herself with a dignified aura. Her heels clicked across the floor as she walked to the seat, and when she sat down she let out a cute little ‘oof.’

“My name is Lady Rian, of House Delaen…” She smiled sweetly, her pearly white teeth almost glimmering in the light. She swiped her dark hair out of her pretty blue eyes, and smiled again.

Simone nodded to every word that Xeik said as he read the list. “Thank you. I’m always punctual. It’s a crime not to be.”

–

Simone sat in the middle of Xeik and Dala. Her stormy eyes looked over Rian. Before long there was an onslaught of very personal questions from Simone. She wanted detailed answers more so than anyone else. So detailed that when Rian stumbled Simone put her quill down.

“Next, please. She isn’t the one. My children’s mother must be quick on her feet. Anything less and it's a travesty. I’m sorry my darling but you just aren’t the one met to bear my children.”

Next, after her was a petite blonde girl. She stepped two feet into the room. “NEXT,” Simone yelled. “Her eyelashes aren’t full enough.” The girl got teary-eyed and ran out of the room. “And she weeps over anything. My children aren’t going to be emotional bags who cry over everything.”

Osiria pushed open the doors, “I can gi–”

“Get out. You have a list of reasons why I don’t want you to be the mother of my children. YOU ARE ALSO TOO SHORT.”

“TOO SHORT?! I’m an inch smaller than you.”

“An inch is too much. You are temperamental.”

“SO ARE YOU MRS. BURN THE FUCKING CITY TO THE GROUND.”

“You aren’t poised or proper. You can’t hold your tongue. You can’t fake your disgust. You have shit taste in men.” Simone pointed poked at Osiria. “Also, I don’t like your mole.”

“We’re supposed to be friends.”

“Friends we are. Mother of my future children you are not. I will not make exceptions. She must be perfect in every way.”

Dala flung herself back and let out a groan. They were never going to find the perfect woman.

The first woman seemed like a good fit, but as Xeik looked over to Simone, a cold shiver ran down his spine. There was something about the way her gaze pierced through the poor woman, and he immediately knew that this whole process was going to be a pain in the ass.

The next woman did not fare much better, and two steps into the room Simone immediately rejected her for what appeared to be an asinine reason.

“For the love of Angela…” Xeik looked down, ready to call in the next woman when the door burst open and Osiria came waltzing in like she was the perfect candidate. Rhenakos wasn’t far behind her, obviously okay with the idea (with the chance that he might be able to sleep with Simone as a ‘trade’). The two were in for a huge surprise, though, as Simone easily rejected Osiria for completely valid reasons.

Rhenakos almost seemed offended and crossed his arms. “Really!? I mean, Lewis, wouldn't you want to sleep with Osiria? She practically screams your type. Short, feisty, and wings…”

Lewis blinked and looked at Osiria. Sure, the woman was attractive in her own right, but there was a huge problem with Osiria.

“No. Not really,” he said as he stared at her with the usual dead look in his eyes. “She’s not Simone, so I really don’t want to…”

With that, Rhenakos and Osiria left, both disappointed in Simone’s ridiculous standards. Not a second later, the door slammed open again, and Vela threw her arms out.

“HOW ABOUT-”

Xeik, Lewis, Simone, and Dala all said no at the same time in a scary, unifying force. If there was something they could agree on, it was that Vela was definitely not suited to be a surrogate.

Dala had absolutely no idea why she was here. Simone had summoned her saying that she was in dire need of help and it was the biggest emergency. In response, Dala had brought all of her swords, knives, daggers, and any other weapon she could think of only to discover it was finding a surrogate so they can have more children. Still she decided to stay and try her best to help out. So far she had only said no to Vela who had the audacity to even try. After a few more women were declared unsuitable, Dala snatched the list of requirements and read through every single thing listed below. After she finished reading, she gave Simone a deadpan look. 

"This is you. All of these requirements are exactly like you." She said before handing the scroll back and shrugging her shoulders, "Only way a girl would reach that list of requirements is if she was a clone of Simone." 

Dala could already see this whole surrogate wouldn't work out. She didn't know a whole bunch about babies but she knew Simone. There was no way in hell she would allow any woman near Lewis, surrogate or not. The teenager just relaxed in her chair and propped up her legs on a nearby table. The next woman approached, a noblewoman who seemed almost familiar. She was an elf and had beautiful blonde hair. 

"Oh I know you!" Dala exclaimed leaning forwards, "You're that half-brained bitch who called me a bastard three years ago. How's the ex-husband?"

The elf woman looked startled at the sight of Dala somehow being at this powerful woman's side.

Simone looked over at Dala and tilted her head as she snatched the list from her hands. “What’s with that look?”

She took the scroll back and for a moment thought over her words carefully, “You know that Lewis suffers from impotency if it isn’t me.” Everyone stared at her even Lewis. “What? It’s true.”

Xeik looked between the two and closed his eyes before rubbing his forehead, “This explains so much.”

When the next woman who walked in had a past with Dala Simone put her hand up, “You won’t do. The mother of my child needs to get along with my best friend.” Everyone stared at her.

“And… we can add one more to the list of requirements that Simone had,” Dala threw her head back.

“We should add it,” Simone nodded as she unrolled the scroll and took her quill to write it. Dala let out a groan she had been sarcastic but the Terrowin mother still went along with it.

They interviewed a dozen more girls and each one got thrown out for something minor. They would be at this for a long, long time.

Six months into this very long process Simone had Janus on her lap. He wanted to spend time with her during this moment. He didn’t understand what was going on but the toddler was actually catching on.

A busty woman with black hair and a similar look to Simone strolled into the room. They interviewed her and Janus had a deadpan expression on his face. “What is it Janus?” Simone smiled down at her son.

“No.”

“Excuse me?” The woman asked the toddler.

“You won’t do,” Janus answered in the same tone his mother had several times now.

“You heard my son. I’m sorry but the mother of my children must be viewed positively by my children.”

“Not that,” Janus looked up.

“Then what?” Simone looked down at him.

“Too big,” Janus pointed at her chest.

“I suppose they are,” Simone chuckled a bit as Janus had figured out what Simone was looking for.

At this point in the process, Lewis had more or less given up on being present for most of the interviews. Instead, he had taken Lila to another room and spent most of the days watching her and spending time with her. It was good to get the twins used to being away from each other for periods of time, and at this point Lewis was sure this process would never pan out.

Xeik had more or less thrown up his hands in defeat after a few months, but Simone seemed to be determined that there was someone out there who would fit her insane requirements.

After the next one was denied, Xeik slammed his head into the desk. “Mia offered last night. What about her?” He had absolutely no worries about Simone saying yes, but he felt compelled to at least offer. “An Osiria sent a strongly worded letter to Angela…so I’m compelled to ask you again in her stead.”

Of course, none of these women would come close to what Simone wanted.

“Mia is too short.” That was all she said. Otherwise, Mia was a good candidate. “And that doesn’t change my mind. Give me the letter.” After she got the letter she took the quill and began to correct everything in it. From verbs to spelling, to anything else she could find. “Make sure Osiria gets this and makes a better attempt next time.”

Simone hoped that Osiria was sending Reva to a school and not trying to teach the girl herself. “If she needs help teaching Reva I would be glad to offer. I’m scared for her.”

They interviewed more girls. More girls got turned away.

Just like that, a year had passed. Simone kicked the last girl of the day out and she put the quill down. There was a frown on her face. The resonance had cut off. There was a brief look of defeat on her face. Lewis was in the room without a noise and it was after he entered that she finally spoke up.

“It’s no use. I’m never going to want anyone to have Lewis’s kids but me. I thought I would warm up to the idea but I can’t.” A depressed sigh left her lips.

In most cases, Lewis would have panicked if the resonance had been cut so quickly. Today, though, he had a fairly good guess on why Simone did such a thing of her own free will. Sure enough. Simone was quite depressed at the lack of suitable candidates. A full year of this had taken its toll on everyone

Xeik was out on his usual business, and Dala had thrown up her hands a few days before and hadn’t shown up since. Finding a surrogate that met Simone’s standards was absolutely impossible. As it turned out, Simone knew this. The words that left her lips made it sound like…

“You never wanted it from the start?” he asked as he slid out of the shadows. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head atop hers. Deep down, though, he always knew this was the case. But hearing Simone admit it was an entirely different story. “You shouldn’t try to push yourself so hard, Mone…” He closed his eyes.

“We’ll figure this out. Together. Like we always do. We can go talk to Angela again…maybe she’s found something else out.” There was always hope. “And if not..we’re practically immortal. She’ll find a way. She always does.” It was a little scary how accurate that statement was. Angela was a scientist first, and a Goddess second. That curiosity could solve any problem…it was the cost that was the biggest worry.