Author: Dala, Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2023 6:04 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Idris turned down the iguana head offering and Dala now had something cool to sell. For a second she considered taking it home as a prize but she knew nothing about taxidermy and that process sounded far more expensive than it was worth. Better to just sell it and move on. The young woman took the large head and tied a rope around it to make the giant thing easier to carry. Swinging the head over her shoulder, she was about ready to take off when Idris mentioned how he needed a drink. At the mention of drinks, the dryness in her throat caught her attention and she realized how thirsty she actually was. 

"Sure. Just let me sell this thing off real quick." Dala said with a smile, "We can use whatever coin this thing gets off to pay for the trip!"

Satisfied at the thought, she dashed off before he could say another word. The first few stalls refused to buy such a large and heavy burden but she was approached by a chemist who seemed desperate to get her hands on the iguana dragon head. They bartered for a bit before reaching a mutually agreed price of six hundred silver. Dala had little experience in selling dragon heads but something told her that this one was special, besides the fact they almost died by it. Once she had the coin she ran back to the tavern and plopped down on the seat next to Idris. 

"That thing got us six hundred!" She practically shouted while shoving him three hundred silver coins, "I don't think we'll have to worry about the prices tonight."

Was it technically his kill? Yes. Should he technically get all of the money? Also yes. Would she bring it up? Nope! Besides he looked too tired and traumatized to really be worried about the money. Dala ordered herself a blue hurricane, a drink made from pineapples and blue curacao, and when it arrived she raised her glass to Idris in a toast. Then she swallowed it down with glee. Despite the bitterness of the alcohol, the sweet and fruity drink lifted her heart from the seriousness of almost dying into the sun. The amount of coin they got helped too. 

"Hey. At least now you'll have an interesting story to tell at parties." Dala said to Idris with a smirk. 

Author: Grimoire, Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2023 6:30 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

When the dragon chased after them he thought they were goners, but somehow by the skin of their teeth–they made it to safety! The immediate emancipation of the dragon's head from its body was a grim reminder on why portals were useful yet deadly, hence why his teachers drilled into his head on portal safety protocol. Sitting on the ground, Idris heaved a great sigh of relief not realizing he had been more tense than he thought. He took Dala's hand and got to his feet, dusting himself off and wiping his brow. The half-dark elf made a face at the severed dragon head and when the young woman asked if he wanted it he politely declined. "Eh…no thanks. I'd rather not have a reminder that I almost died being dragon food." He avoided making eye contact with the head, feeling a little squeamish. After that ordeal, he slumped against a nearby wall, exhausted. 

True to form, all that stress and humidity was making him thirsty. "I need a drink." And maybe a dozen more after the first one. It could be the shock over a life and death situation, but Idris was going to need a few cocktails before he'd feel like himself again. Looking around to get his bearings, he then turned to Dala. "I'm going to head to the closest tavern. Wanna come?" Even if she didn't take up his offer, he intended to down at least a bottle before taking a few days off from his derailed vacation. Even though it was a balmy day in Kwama, he still had the chills that only spiced mango and pineapple juice could chase away.

Author: Dala, Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2023 1:32 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Although glad that the other pair were safe, she was extremely worried about being Iguana food. If the dragon looked back at the other group for one moment it would realize it had been tricked. They not only had to escape but to keep its attention the entire time. As she played, she tried to keep the iguana's attention on her while Idris casted his spell, even if it would be quick. Idris shouted four of a kind, confusing Dala since she still had no idea what that meant in the card game. A portal opened underneath them. The dragon roared in its fury and tried to follow, only to be decapitated when the portal snapped shut. The head of the iguana hit the ground while the rest remained in the jungle. Dala picked herself up from the ground and looked around, realizing they were in Kwama. She offered her hand over to Idris to help him up. 

"I am never playing poker again." She declared. 

Once he was up, Dala turned to the head and began inspecting the eyes, hoping that it would be useful or sellable. If it was a possible potion ingredient then maybe her villagers would like it. However, she realized that since Idris was the one who technically saved them, then he should get first pick. She squatted down and using her leg muscles, was able to hoist the iguana head and offer it up to Idris. 

"Want it?" Dala asked. 

The iguana dragon head stared at him with unblinking eyes. 

Author: Grimoire, Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 9:16 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Admittedly saying: 'Just play poker, it'll be fine–trust me' wasn't really much to go on, but it was the truth. As their plan went into action, Idris first enchanted a rune with a gateway spell and then cast the spell once Dala started chatting up the dragon. A portal opened up underneath the other group, swallowing them up and their belongings in a flash before quickly closing. The two would find themselves in Kwama, far out of the dragon's reach. As for the cards they took, he could always buy another deck. Idris continued to play it cool with pretending he was considering his current hand when it happened. If the dragon found out it had been played, it might just get mad enough to overcome its fear of poker and just eat them anyway, so he was being careful.

Now the pressure was on as its entire attention would be on them with no one else left to distract it. His personal effects were close by to minimize the size of the portal when it was their time to go. This was why he had the rune prepared; he likely would be found out if he tried casting, however the rune's effect was instantaneous. Giving Dala a look, as soon as he knew their companions were in the clear he used the stored spell and held tight as the portal opened underneath them. "Four of a kind!" He shouted, a subtle hint that they were heading to the same destination. As he declared his hand, those would be his last words to the dragon as they made their escape. Even if the dragon chased after them, it would be too late. The spell was brief and it'd risk being split between two places at once. 

Author: Dala, Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 6:40 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Dala appreciated Idris' words of sympathy, even if it would be the last words she'd hear before she died. Time was ticking. The poker game wouldn't last forever. Luckily for everyone involved, Idris had an ounce of intelligence and magic. He whispered his plan to Dala, explaining how the creature couldn't focus on two things at a time and deciding to split up into pairs in order to distract it.

Dala nodded to the plan and paired herself up with Idris. The iguana dragon couldn't keep an eye on both groups and ended up switching between them. But the other group were extremely nervous about the plan and the impending lizard doom. They're teeth were practically chattering and they might as well been shaking like a terrified dog. The iguana drew its attention to the group. 

"Why nervous? Cheating perhaps?" It asked. 

"They're obviously scared." Dala said quickly, "Look at your power and strength. Any living thing would cower before your might!"

"…Are you afraid?" 

"More than you know…"

The iguana appeared satisfied with this response as it relaxed its guard once more. Although she was garbage at the game, she could tell by the expression of the other group's faces that they were almost done with their split game. Their movements were slow and they nervously glanced at the dragon every so often while giving Dala and Idris pleading eyes. They just wanted to not die by a giant lizard. 

"Anytime now Idris." Dala muttered. 

Author: Grimoire, Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 6:09 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

If only he had noticed sooner! While he was trying to come up with a plan, Idris failed to see the signs of one of the other people trapped with them getting anxious. "Wait! Don't–" But he was too late. As soon as the man made a break for it, the dragon ate him headfirst. He knew the situation was desperate, but did the poor bloke really think he could outrun a dragon? Unfortunately the fewer people they had left, the lower their chances were of escape. Poker was the only thing keeping them alive at this point. 
 
Dala had a plan to try and suss out the reason why the game warded them against the dragon's appetite, but the dragon wasn't interested in chatting with its food. "Well, you tried?" The half elf said, attempting to encourage her for her efforts. If only had some wine to loosen those lips, then maybe it would have worked. After much stressful imaginations of their slow and inevitable demise, he had an idea. They couldn't afford to wait any longer, or they'd run out of people. While pretending to focus on his cards, he whispered to her. "OK, I think we might have a way to save ourselves. The dragon can't touch us while we're playing poker right? But it can't focus on two things at the same time. If we split up into pairs, it'll have to focus on one group every so often. While it's distracted, I'll open a portal under the other group they're playing, and they'll be safe–probably." 

The key thing was that they had to be discreet. Then there was the issue on what to do with the remaining pair left, but he decided they'd figure something out when they got to that step. He would then explain his plan with the other two people on splitting into two separate games. He paired himself with Dala and let the other two play each other, since he needed to help cover for her. However, could he pull the same trick twice? Once the dragon only had one group to focus on, it'd be harder to pretend.

Author: Dala, Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 3:49 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Dala nervously looked at her cards, still clueless on how to play the game even with Idris' best attempts at teaching her. While she was playing she was also racking her brain for any sort of plan to get the both of them out of there. But from the corner of her eye she could see one of the other players slowly shifting into a kneeling position. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she sensed the dangerous action he was about to try. The man waited patiently for the iguana dragon to look away and made a mad dash to escape the pit. The iguana could hear the man’s footsteps and dashed towards the man, chomping off his head with an audible crunch. It licked its lips before returning to the edge of the ditch to observe the rest of the game. They were not only running out of time but slowly running out of players too.

“I only have one plan.” Dala muttered to Idris, “If we know why it’s scared of poker, we can use that info against it.”

Talking to the iguana dragon thing could also buy them more time and delay the game further. She had learned to do this when procrastinating on her work back in Cardawen. Delaying a game was a new skill she had become a professional at, even if she still sucked at actually playing poker. The first thing she needed to do was engage in a conversation with the creature in an organic way that wouldn’t reveal her true intentions. She would have to be subtle. She would have to combine her natural charisma and clever words. She would have to use all the knowledge she had gained over the years for this strategic task.

“Yo iguana dragon thing. Why are you scared of poker?!” Dala shouted at the dragon. 

The dragon gave her an annoyed glance and said nothing. Blast! How could her brilliant plan fail?!

"The iguana's a tough nut to crack." Dala muttered to Idris.

Author: Grimoire, Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2023 10:25 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Never had he ever thought a popular tavern pastime would be his one ticket to survival. Against all odds, the only reason why this dragon wasn't eating them all was because they were playing poker. Stopping the game wasn't an option, as one person who decided to call it quits was promptly eaten as an hors d'oeuvre. The half dark elf was sweating and not due to the humidity. Idris was taking a vacation from his job as a tutor, not that he did very much tutoring. Onnen was a land of exotic flavors and spices, and the perfect place for new exciting drinks. He was on a culinary journey for two weeks, traveling to where the ingredients were grown to have a taste of local cuisine. And today happened to be the day he decided not to leave with a bottle of local brew for the road. Trekking through the jungle was tiring and a bottle of liquid would weigh him down, but now he regretted his decision as he didn't have anything to potentially bribe the man-eating dragon. Soon it would also be a half-elf and woman-eating dragon, if they didn't figure out a plan to escape.

Unlike Dala, Idris did know how to play. But this didn't help as the prize for winning was death. They couldn't stop. The only way to stall was to make the game a tie, which was much harder than it looked when one of them knew nothing about poker. He was on the verge of tears as he couldn't help Dala cheat–the dragon knew how the game was supposed to be played. Intentionally throwing the game wasn't easy either as he kept pulling many high value cards in the worst possible situation.

Now he was by no means an expert, but the odds were so skewed in his favor it was painful. He painstakingly taught the blonde girl what hands were in poker, how valuable they were, and which hand trumped which. Any hopes of a silent collusion were dashed as when he asked her to shuffle she drew her sword forcing him to stop her. Somehow he was able to implement the use of jokers, which normally wasn't allowed, but he argued with the dragon they were missing a few cards from a full deck. A few tied rounds had passed but the situation wasn't getting better. They needed to get out, and soon.

"What do we do? We can't keep playing forever! As soon as one of us stops its over!" He said in a hushed whisper, nervously eyeing the dragon. With how fast the dragon was, they wouldn't be able to cast a spell to escape without losing at least one person.

Author: Dala, Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2023 9:40 PM, Post Subject: Iguana Poker [P][R?]

Dala eyed her cards as she sat in the ditch with four other people who had been exploring the area. A massive dragon with an uncanny resemblance to an iguana stalked outside of the ditch, aware of their presence and waiting for them to end the game before it tried to eat them. For some reason it was deeply afraid of the game and wouldn't even go near any group of people playing poker. The young woman wondered how on Revaliir they ended up in this situation. 

It had started earlier that day. She had been planning on investigating disappearances of travelers who passed through the Sahel Understory and teamed up with some others to figure it out. They hunted through the thick humid rainforest but could only find the average jaguar or regular old tarantula, hardly anything that would kill experienced travelers. Just as they were about to give up, Dala suggested they take a break in a nearby ditch, since it would be a decent hiding place from predators. Somebody brought out a deck of cards while they relaxed and drank water, offering to play poker. She accepted, despite knowing nothing of the game.

Just as they were about to start the game, a massive green lizard the size of a dragon crawled down from the giant tropical trees. If only they had bothered to look up during their hunt they would have noticed it had been following them. A deafening crash boomed as it dropped to the ground. The massive claws could slice through a buffalo in a second. The jaws were strong despite the lack of teeth. The spines on its back were sharp and the eye facing them looked in their general direction. It was a powerful dragon called Iguanacus Draconicus, more commonly known as the iguana dragon. Dala didn't even have time to ready her sword before the claw raised up to strike the group down but it suddenly stopped. 

It's eyes widened at the sight of the poker cards. 

It backed away, muttering words about "demon child's game." and "I'll eat them when they're done." 

Obviously, they continued playing the game as it seemed the only way to prevent the iguana dragon from killing them all. Unfortunately, Dala had no idea how to play. Her poker face was incredible, giving nothing away. However, she had an ace of hearts, a two of spades, a three of clubs, a go-fish card, and a tiny picture of a dog about the size of a card. How she acquired these cards in a poker game was beyond even her understanding. She was trying her best.