Author: Cao Lixue, Posted: Wed Oct 2, 2019 2:56 PM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

"I told you I don't want your help, why do you persist!? Do I have to show you why I am not deserving of help"! Lobbing empty threats at the angel as her mind was to affected by emotion to effectively cast magic. As of now, all Lixue could really do was bluff as she hid her tears beneath her hands. Why is so persistent, it should be fairly obvious to an angel that I no longer belong in this world. As a being of light, she should do her natural duty and strike me down while I am unable to defend myself. So focused on herself Lixue did not even notice the Archangel advance till it was too late. Feeling a soft touch against her cheek the Undead's immediate reaction to another's touch was to back away as of right now her ability to hold back her nature was weakened. However, she felt none of Artiya'il's life fill her being, while she felt warm just not of life but of kindness. 

Still stunned by the feel of another's touch left bare without any protections forwarded to them. Her words, as well as her wishes, had reached Lixue. Placing her hand over top of Artiya'il's she basked in the Angel's calming embrace letting herself enjoy the feeling of another's a concern. Standing up and clasping both her hands over the previously seized angelic hand, she fell back into nostalgia as it reminded her of her elder sister who used to comfort her. Falling into past memories has she closed her eyes to increase the sensation of something she expected to never again feel.  While she wanted to remain like this forever, Artiya'il's hand did not belong to her. Holding on just a bit longer as she wanted to ingrain this moment into her soul she looked to Artiya'il while slowly releasing her hand.

Whipping the tears from her eyes as a way to hide her embarrassment and shame as she had taken hold of the woman's hand without asking as well as acting like a child. "… I apologize for my previous actions I should have seen that you only wished to help". Shifting back to the polite and formal mannerisms that have been burned into her very being from years of training to hone her into a service, not a person. " I'm am unsure as to how this works, but I am willing to put my faith in you to show me this strength you see in me, however if taking on my grief appears to be too much for you I request that you immediately stop as I should be the one to overcome my personal dilemmas". While she had seated herself back into a more professional persona, she could not help, but steal glances back towards Artiya'il hand. 

Author: Arti, Posted: Wed Oct 2, 2019 6:11 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Artiya'il cocked her head to one side, a knowing, amused smile flickering across her usually stern face. Was that not the point she was trying to make? The girl was so stuck in her past, so focused on her grief (whether she knew it or not), that she could not see her way forward. "Your words only make my point for me," she stated softly, taking another, small step, towards the woman. "You focus so much on what has been lost that you cannot see what you might yet have to gain, which is why your heart calls to me, whether you realise it or not. You are not the first to fear letting go, and you will not be the last that I have to convince. Every being in the Universe believes that they are destined to suffer - but that is not true, if it were I would not exist, or at least my Father would not have given me the gift to hear the cries of those in need of me." 

The Archangel chuckled slightly. "It is simple, we do not see ourselves as others see us. We are our own worst critics, we see ours flaws more acutely than our strengths. It is not that I know more about you, it is purely that I see you, as you see me. You see my confidence, you hear it in my words - but I know it because I have long ago learnt to look within myself, in ways that most do not. I am not being arrogant, or bragging, I am millennia old, I have had a long time to get to know my own self," she said with a shrug. The Angel did not feel the shift in temperature - given that Angels didn't feel very much (most of them anyway, that wasn't how they had been designed), she did not notice. The Archangel sighed, holding her hands out in front of her, to show she was not a threat. "Because it clouds your judgement Cao Lixue, you have focused so much on that part of yourself, allowed it to consume you, that you cannot see the fire within yourself that could grow into a beacon for yourself, and for others. This is the grief I speak of, the grief that I have removed from countless others, such as yourself, who have lost themselves to the sorrow and not realised just how fully it has taken hold of them. You see it as your strength, but it is the stumbling block to true strength in your case. You could seek your revenge, but then the hole already in your heart would only become a wider void until you are lost to mourning, if you allow me to remove your grief you can still have your revenge, but it will allow you to move past it."

Again the Archangel tilted her head to one side, she was not afraid of this child, nor was she going to give up. "Fight me if you wish, that was how I proved my devotion to my words to my Lady Shiloh when she too refused my offer. Your hunger is fed by your grief, sweet girl, let me help you, let me take that pain from you so that you might see a new light in your life. I cannot remove the hunger that comes from what you have become, but I can at least offer you a strength in yourself that you do not yet recognise. Let me help," Artiya'il said more sternly, closing the distance between them to put a hand to the girl's cheek. "I will not see you suffer unjustly." 

Author: Cao Lixue, Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2019 12:50 PM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Staring the Angel down, but out of fear, not anger. Artiya'il's smile gave Lixue some pause as she felt the same fear as the rabbit she had recently helped. Fearing the unknown, unsure of the other parties intentions, unsure of whether to resit or accept whatever the unknown had planned for her. Listening to Angel's words while keeping an eye out for sudden movements. I don't understand what she means, I only know who I am not who I was nor who I'll become I'm always me. I no longer change I am opposed to life I do not age nor does my body retain the scars of the past. Losing sight of her target as she thought on her words only to quickly focus back to see Artiya'il's eyes still locked onto hers never doubting only moving forward. Frozen in doubt Lixue could only act as if she were able to defend herself while disarmed by the Angel's words. Shaking as both her body and mind were betraying her. She had no answers for the barrage of questions as all of her drive and ambition came from the past and grief how could the only thing giving her purpose be hindering her?

Following Artiya'il's movements still pretending to look threating. "Live you say, what do I have to live for!? I have nothing but my past, no family no friends no reason to live. Even if removing those that took my life from me is meanless it's better than having nothing to strive for"!? Tightening her form and focusing her Qi the area around her started to grow colder. "I don't understand how you are so confident about your words! How do you know more about me than I do!? My potential what potential!? Maybe a potential for death and destruction! Who is the only thing giving me purpose holding me back, how"!?

Feeling something wet running down her cheek and quickly freeze. Reaching for the now frozen teardrop stunned by her ability to still cry. She did not want to fight the Angel, but she did not want her to take her feeling from her. Everything hurt, it hurts so much, but if this pain is gone what do I have left? The aura of cold fades as Lixue falls to her knees covering her face trying to hold the tears back. "Just go away, I don't want to hurt you or anyone, but perhaps it would be better if what I've become is quickly dealt with before I hurt anyone. I can feel what I've become always clawing at the back of my mind always hungering for life. Even you who only wants to help.. I can feel your energy and part of me salivates at the thought of feeding on you"! Breaking into to full on tears as her words become incomprehensible.

Author: Arti, Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:03 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Another flicker of a smile crossed Arti's face as she stepped towards the girl once more. "As we grow and experience new situations we leave behind the person we were, that is what life is. You hold onto your grief as a way to continue being the person you were, not the person you are or the person you should become. It is the same with most people with something to mourn, too afraid to let go of their losses for fear of leaving that part of themselves behind," Arti's eyes never left the girl's, watching her carefully. "You believe that because you are now one of the Undead, that somehow you have no meaning? You are alive are you not? In your own fashion? You may not be human, but you have your own drives and ambitions and I do not believe that your grief helps you in this, it hinders you as it does so many within the world." 

The Archangel turned her gaze away for a moment, turning her head to one side slightly. "I look to take the grief, the pain, that which could devour you over time, I do not take the memories. You have so much potential, but you are held back by your grief, at the loss of those you loved and the loss of yourself, because of that you cannot see the potential for the future, for a life you may not have expected for yourself. Why let it hold you back when you could be so much more than it? Find the one who took your world from you if you must, but do so in the knowledge that you are not consumed by your past, by the grieving you continue to do now. What do you gain from it? It dulls your emotions, you blame your death for that but you fail to see that it is the pain you cling to that stifles what other emotions you have. You are Undead, in other words you are alive, so live."

Author: Cao Lixue, Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:00 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Out of all the responses she could have expected, amusement and understand from an angel to an undead like her was the last thing she would have expected. Most angels tend to be holier than thou constantly chastising mortals like they were mere animals, while the undead are treated as abominations and to be killed on sight. As she generalized the Angel before her, her thoughts reflected back to herself as she would have banished an undead such as her without even batting an eye. It's funny how one's outlook changes when they are one the chopping block. Thinking about the demons and undead she had banished in the past and how they might have been more than simply evil beings incapable of good. Stopping her existential crisis for later as the Angel further explained her purpose while clearing any misunderstanding.

By the angel's accounted it was her own heart that summoned Artiya'il to her side. Finding it hard to believe Artiya'il's words as she thought back to her family. It is true that she misses them, but her sorrow is as dull as many of her sense. Delving into her thoughts more as to how she felt about her families death. There was sadness and anger, but the potency of the emotions were lacking, It felt as if her mind was attempting to fabricate emotions as a sort of defence mechanism. I do miss them, but when I think back to them they do not feel like family even though they are. Placing a hand on her chest she felt nothing. All she had was her dulled past and emotions and this angel wished to take what little she had from her. If the angel eased whatever sorrow she had would she lose even more of herself?  "No, this grief is mine and mine alone. if even my feelings are left to the past I'm nothing but a walking memory of the person I once was"! Distancing herself from Artiya'il as she feared for her humanity. Discovering her and her families killer was all she had. If she had nothing to strive for what would she do?

Author: Arti, Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:53 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

The girl's interactions with the rabbit were… unusual, but intriguing. Artiya'il had watched over the Earth for millennia, she had been continually surprised by the actions of the creations that had graced that planet with their presence. The Archangel allowed herself a moment of reminiscence, her thoughts drifting to her birthplace, to the world her mother had exiled them from. It had been necessary… Heaven had become corrupted; not even their Father could be trusted any longer, Raegul had been forced to call upon Cataclysm to end his reign and destroy Heaven - casting the Host to the far reaches of the Universe, so that none of them could find their way back and hurt Earth more than is already had been, by their hands. 
No, Earth was better off without them, they could grow within the Angels interference, and now Artiya'il and her siblings would have a chance to grow without their Father looming over them constantly. As this thought crossed her mind, the Archangel allowed a small flicker of a smile, to cross her otherwise stoney face. How ironic, that she should be hoping that her siblings would grow, now that they had free will, when she continued to follow the path Father had set out for her. Well, that was her choice at least, he may have tasked her with the duty on Earth, but on Revaliir she had chosen it as her own. 

As the girl turned to face her, Artiya'il cocked her head to one side, observing Cao Lixue as she spoke. It was a habit the Archangel had, and one that had unnerved more than a few of her family. Arti had always been one of the better judges of her family, neutral in terms of a 'side' she had listened to each of their petty, ridiculous, arguments with equal measure - and told them all that she believed them dimwitted, pathetic, creatures who needed to stop and think for once. A small smile twitched at Arti's lips, and the Archangel snorted, folding her arms over her chest as she looked at the Undead girl with amusement, she liked this girl. "Truer words I have not heard from one so young before, it is refreshing to know that even the younger generations have some wisdom despite their lack of experience," she said with a nod of acknowledgement, impressed by Lixue's words. "However, I feel you misunderstand my role. I am not here to take all of your grief from you, for as you say one cannot find joy if one does not understand sorrow, for how can you distinguish one without feeling the other? No. I am called by overwhelming grief, it is your own heart that reaches out to mine, even if you do not realise it. My role in life, is to seek out those carrying grief as a burden, those who are weighed down by it and thereby missing their potential because of it. I take the pain, the crippling sensation, the breathlessness, but I leave you the reminder of it, so that you can remember it and those you have lost and grow from there. That is all."

Author: Cao Lixue, Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 11:58 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Staring into the rabbit's beady eyes, as it stares back almost inquisitively at her. " What do you want food? I'm sorry to say that I do not have any as the dead do not require food however, I'm feeling a bit peckish myself better leave before I turn you into a snack". Ending her comment with her hands in a pounce motion teasingly at the rabbit who merely inched closer to her. Cocking her head to the side in confusion as this rabbit was either intelligent enough to comprehend that it was a joke or dumb enough to stick around a possible danger if she were to lose control. Resting on her knees and slowly inching her hand near to animal allowing the bunny to smell her first. Taking note at the rabbit's confusion as either her scent was dangerous or she did not have a scent at all. " You'll have to forgive me as my sense of smell has been lost, though hopefully, I do not smell too terrible". Petting to the silly rabbit, her smile grew as the fur danced between her fingers. While she could not feel the creatures' warmth at least she could enjoy contact with another. " Besides a Very Rude Alchemist and a Wise Dragon, your the only living thing I've had a real conversation with, well not a conversation, but at least your a good listener". Chuckling at her bad joke as she enjoyed the rabbit's company. Sitting in silence simply enjoying her company as she recounted her previous life when she use to sneak into her older siblings rooms to sleep. As she got older her Brother banned her from doing so, but Xiao was always there when she wanted to be pampered.

Falling into nostalgia as she lightly rubbed the bunnies' floppy ear losing herself in the past and the cute little creature. Falling to notice the Divin Being's presence as she approached, but as soon as the Angel descended her company skitted away knocking the Undead Girl out of her daydream. Haveheartly reaching out towards the rabbit as it fled into the brush. As the Angel was introducing herself Lixue merely looked longingly into the brush saddened by her companies' departure. Sighing as she slowly raised, patting the dirt off her attire. Turning around to face the so called Angel of Grief and Champion to the Goddess Shiloh. She has personally never heard of any goddess Shiloh, but there are many things she does not know about the present. Looking to the Angel, her muted tones at least fit with her title, and what's more surprising that an angel of all things wants to help an undead.

Considering that she's an Angel of Grief it's fairly obvious that she wants to ease the loss of my family may be to force me to pass on into the afterlife. Leaving her theories in her head, for now, she lightly bowed to the Angel, " Hello my name is Cao Lixue, but I don't think I need to tell you that". Lifting herself back up looking over the Battle Ready Angel who looked far more suited to removing evil than removing grief. "Thank you for the offer, but one must live and overcome their sadness as there can be no joy without sorrow".  Unsure as to what the current lot stake their beliefs in, but to Lixue her beliefs coincide with her teachings. 

Author: Arti, Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:16 AM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Grief. 

That was what called to the Archangel. Even now, in this new world, she could feel the call of those who suffered under the weight of it, and found herself drawn to them still. Apparently being in a new world did not diminish her ability, nor did it quieten the voices of those who called to her silently for salvation. 
Today was no different. She had ensured that the Goddess had not required her at the Antikythera before she had taken off and travelled the distance to the Lake, where the one who needed her was calling. 

Artiya'il had been doing this for some centuries now, she knew her place in the world, and knew what was required of her. As ever she observed the one whose heart had tugged upon her own, watching over them and silently judging whether or not they required, or were worthy, of her abilities and her help. She had always been an impartial party, 'good' and 'evil' alike were allowed her help, she was neutral, her only purpose to remove grief from those worthy of it. 
She watched the Undead girl carefully, intrigued as to what the girl was up to with the rabbit. She tilted her head to one side, gaze never wavering, as the girl healed the rabbits wounds and let it loose once more. Intriguing. 

The Archangel furled her wings against her back, dropping from the sky rapidly. The rush of the wind against her skin went unnoticed - where others might have felt a thrill, or a rush, Artiya'il felt only the wind, apathetic as ever to such things. Her wings snapped out to slow her descent at the last minute, but the Angel landed gracefully, she was seasoned at such entrances now. Standing upright she brushed at her skirts and looked at the girl. "Greetings child, my name is Artiya'il, I am the Angel of Grief and Champion to the Goddess Shiloh. I am here to remove that which burdens you."

Author: Cao Lixue, Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 5:59 PM, Post Subject: An Angel's Blessing[P.R]

Starting Mana: 98 

Ending Mana: 88

The green of the light woods slowly shifted into a symphony of yellows and reds signifying the start to the Jasumin Lake. As Lixue continued the woods continued to shift more and more into eternal autumn. While it had been some time since she had been to the Jasumin Lake it seemed to appear the same, however, the woods usually held varying assortments of life to create an ecosystem. Instead of the lively woods, she had been met with deafening silence with the only the crunch of leaves and babbling brook to keep her company. The lack of wildlife usually meant danger, but it was just not the woods from the Jasumin Lake that have been oddly quiet, in fact, her travels throughout the morning and night have been met with an eerie silence clearly marking her as the danger. While the thought of animals see her as a threat saddened her, there was a positive to the lack of wildlife as she did not have to worry about fending off any wild beasts looking for there next meal.

If this continues the Haza Savanna will be far easier to travel through. Although I'm not sure how the Bőr Séta sees the Undead if they are shifters they will probably be able to tell I'm no longer human. While I don't want to harm anyone if they get in the way I may have to use magic to fend them off. Thinking about how to deal with her next obstacle on her way to Iria, the shuffling of a nearby shrub caught her attention. Moving closer to the shrub caused the fauna to move more violently halting Lixue's movements in an attempt to calm whatever hid within the seasonal shrubbery. As time passed the plant stilled allowing her to move closer and closer with every passing exchange between herself and the hidden creature till she had made it to the uppty shrub. " Don't worry i'm not going to harm you". Hoping her calm tone reached the creature as she peeled back the branches to reveal a wounded rabbit staring and straggling to flee from the undead girl. Her presence must have scarred away whatever was hunting the poor rabbit. While she tried to reach to rabbit in an attempted to heal the wounded creature it violently trashed and snapped towards her as to it she was an abomination. " Well if you're going to be uncooperative, you leave me no choice". Directing her hand at the rabbit she cast a spell to paralyze its moments to allow her to help to panic creatures. It could be seen as cruel to restrict the fearful creature's movements it was for its own good. Quickly healing the rabbit's wounds she removed the paralyze. Either stunned by her magical ability or it's healed wound the rabbit looked at the undead girl with what could be seen as confusion. Smiling back at the rabbit as she rubbed her arm as if to work out the pain from the holy magic, "See I'm not a monster".