[Please note that this is a continuation of Diary of a Broken Elf and Diary of Convalesence using the magical journal. It'll be easier to keep track of here.]

Do I start these with Dear Larka? Would it be appropriate to treat this as letters? Am I overthinking this?

Anyway… When you first told me that it was you replying back to me, I wasn't quite sure what to think. And then I stopped writing in here for awhile. Today, I find myself separated from you, with the need to tell you something vital. We got to see the rabbit up close! It was amazing! It turns out that the reason it was so big and destructive was the rabbit had absorbed and became corrupted by the evil in the magic that was used against it.

It looked spectral, and wasn't easy to take care of. We couldn't do much damage to it, but it could do serious damage to us. If it wasn't for whoever that deity was, we probably would not have survived. He had requested we send positive magic toward the creature, and it worked. However, there was a huge explosion. But please, don't fret! Akira and I are fine. I promise. We even discovered something quite amazing. My little familiar, which I've decided to name Tempest, has a unique ability. It helps identify problems within the body that require healing, as well as having a numbing ability.

Tempest will be a great help…

What if I told you that there is a way for us to leave the way of the mercenary behind forever? I am learning so much about healing, and with my experiments with the potions… We could open a clinic. We could train the next generation, teach them how to defend. There are so many more things we can do that aren't risking our lives. We have a growing child within you to think of, not to mention Akira. What would they do without us?

Just food for thought…

My lovely Celeste, I'm am happy to hear that you and Akira are well and that the rabbit has been dealt with. I'll admit I was worried, but I know you two can take care of yourselves, I guess I'm too much of a mama bear for my own good. I can't say I liked having to sit this one out and watch from a distance, but I know I need to keep safe, still, to be out there along side you, and Akira, would have been nice.

Tempest will be handy then! My own familiar, Tsar, hasn't left my side since he appeared, I think he's a he anyway, hard to tell. Anyway, Tsar has been protecting me non stop, and even Kyu has come to like the odd beasty, I think she knows that he is there to protect me and so she accepts him for it. Haven't discovered anything that he can do, but I haven't been in a situation where I need him to do something, maybe I can ride him if I need to at least?

I would love to get out of this life style and do something safe! Aside from Akira and the baby I'm carrying, I'm not getting any younger myself. I like the idea of training others in basic sword skills, and now that I can use my left arm again, well, kind of, it'll be that much easier for me. I tell you, Celeste, I'm still getting used to this new magic I have, and that I can summon that earth dragon. I think it has something to do with the dragon's blood I first drank when becoming a Reaver, it was an earth dragon, it's the only thing I can think of. Unless this power has been in me all along and I have never been able to unlock it before, well, you know.

I love you, Celeste, and Akira, I'll be waiting for you both to get home soon.

I’m paying a mage to send Akira home to you. I can rest easy, knowing she got there safe. I’m sorry, ma vhenan. You were expecting us both, but… I need time alone.

You are always so strong, brave and courageous. Despite what life throws at you, consistently you spit in its face. You overcome all obstacles in your path.

I am not worthy to be your wife. I may never be again… Dareth shiral.

Akira is here safe, my love. You need not apologize, I understand somewhat, take the time you need, I will be here for you when you return. Always.

Don't say that! You are my everything, Celeste, it is your love that has allowed me to stay strong, and I know you are just as strong as I am, if not more. After Lilith I sought release from the pain through fighting, boozing, women and took the chance on my life to become a Reaver. But if you, and your love, that truly let me get past everything that had happened, I could not have gotten over those obstacles without you behind me, knowing you were there for me. You are strong, Celeste, you endured the worst those two years, yet when I found you you were still trying to fight them, you hadn't given in to them. You fought, you found a way to fight against them, that is your strength.

What do you mean, I am free? I am free when I am with you, when we cuddle at night, while we watch and play with Akira, and soon our newborn. That is what makes me free, I need you in my life, Celeste, I always will.

I understand that you need some time alone, but I will be waiting for you, with open arms, when you return.

Ar lath ma, vhenan… Akira says Ar lath as well.

No, you are not free. I am selfish… While I wish to set you free from the burden I am, I cling to you still. Even with distance between us, I cannot let you go. I need to know that someone is still there, supporting me, willing to accept me as broken I find myself.

But maybe… things can be different… I have found someone who thinks she can help. She promised she can make all of it go away, this shame and weakness. Though, she hasn’t said what methods she has, she can make life bearable again. Larka, I’m tired. Tired of the crowds making me feel anxious. Tired of fear and constant self scrutiny.

Tired of it all…. I think I’m going to take her offer. For you, Akira… Our child… Is Akira alright? There was an ambush before I sent her to you…. And I lost control of myself. I’m sorry I didn’t say earlier.