There was a void that had always lingered from the beginning she had awakened lost and alone. How terrifying it was to find that everything within your memories was gone, wiped clean like an empty slate. Feelings, emotions, preferences, distastes–whatever it was that made a person who they were…cruelly torn away from her hands. With difficulty Ardea had scraped and fought to regain every piece and fragment she could, but even when she had found the end of her greatest lead–it left her with less answers than questions. The more a mosaic is filled, the more obvious the gaps become. She had more to her than a name now, but the truth she had discovered was painful to bear. When she had nothing, she was ignorant of her condition. But now there was something she could hold onto, she realized how much she had lost. Sister Ligeia, whom she had known since childhood had been her mother. Years had passed and neither mother nor daughter had even realized their relation from the manipulations of the order.  But Ligeia Rosenheim had not been as lucky as her daughter. The woman died never knowing she had a family, her memory stolen just as Ardea's had been. 

With no place left in the world to call 'home', the spellsword wandered aimlessly as she had upon regaining consciousness with amnesia. Except now, there was a heaviness in her soul. The truth was a terrible burden to bear. Perhaps it was fate that the raven-haired woman found her way to the shining bastion in the north of the primal lands. Like a listless specter, the armored woman entered the sanctuary and walked past the pilgrims and clergy until one pulled her aside to ask where she wished to go. Dull blue eyes pale as ice met theirs, and faintly red lips said simply: "A quiet place". She was led to Maobi, and took a seat within one of the confessional booths. When the door was shut, she closed her eyes and folded her hands as if to pray. The first words from her mouth were: "Blessed Lady forgive me, for I have sinned–for in my ignorance I placed myself in debt to another… For my sake a dear friend gave up his very life for me."

She confessed her guilt at all that had transpired at that monastery, for being blind to the madness of the man she had seen as a father figure and willingly assisting him in her foolishness. That man sought to raise her to be a willing sacrifice for his malicious intent, and Alexander had staked his very own soul to save her by interrupting the rite. Her body and spirit had been transported to the mainland as her friend used himself to summon and bind a powerful lich to that place in order to keep Pater Dietrich in check. For years, that place had been sealed by his alchemical circle until Ardea retraced her way back to the point where it all began. There she and a newfound companion braved the depths of Sacra Rosa, uncovered the order's dark secret, and restored a small portion of Ardea's lost memories. But with everyone she had known from her past gone, what now? What purpose was there left for someone who had lost everything all over again?

The day was quiet in the Cathedral so when the young woman came to confess there were more than enough empty booths for her to sit in. The clergy member who was to hear her sins had sat through this process more than a few times now, being one of the first of the clergy to listen to confessionals. When Ardea took her seat the clergy member opened up part of the little window between them, enough to talk but keeping her privacy intact. He listened intently to what she had to say and the story that she tolled and it was an interesting one indeed.

By the end the clergy member wasn’t sure what to say, having dealt with smaller stuff than this so far. After a few moments in thought he did reply, voice calm and hushed. ”My child, would you perhaps like to speak with Lady Glory herself? I feel her insight into matters such as yours will be better than my own.”

Upon Ardea’s acceptance of that idea the clergy member left his side of the booth and opened the door for Ardea. However, he had a hood up over his face and was making efforts not to look at Ardea’s features, again trying to keep privacy a thing, as he led her into Maobi and once there into a private room. It still had a booth in it but also a few chairs as well in case Ardea wanted to sit face to face with the Goddess. ”She will be with you in a moment, my child. If you would like to use the booth you are welcome to, or if wish to sit and talk with her face to face please, have a seat. Per our rules I cannot retell what I have heard in confessional, so you’ll have to tell Lady Glory. She will knock before she comes in.” With that he left Ardea alone.

Sirona for her part was in the Cathedral grounds, but she was in the training yard going over her hammer work. She hadn’t been using the hammer very long but she did like that it gave her an option in a fight that was more overwhelming in striking power than her sword. It was here that she heard word of someone wishing an audience. Nodding Sirona set her hammer down on the weapon rack and used a towel to wipe some of the sweat from her brow before using her light form to near instantly arrive at the door.

Her brilliant blue eyes glowed even in the brightness of the Cathedral, black angelic tattoo work line part of her face and a bit on her lower lip. Raven black hair hung lose around her face but she brushed that aside before knocking on the door. Waiting a moment Sirona then entered the room slowly, she was still in her full armour, but, then again, Sirona was always in her armour. If Ardea was in a booth Sirona would enter the other side, otherwise Sirona would smile to Ardea directly and give a small bow. ”Greetings, I am Sirona. Please, tell me what’s troubling you.”

She had never asked for a solution or an answer; Ardea had simply wanted a listening ear to hear all that had been pressed down inside her heart. She didn't expect the clergy member behind the partition to know or understand what it was like to suffer the way she had, nor did she blame them. When the man was at a loss of what to do or say, he suggested she seek counsel with the goddess of this temple, to which she agreed. Either way, she had given a voice to the thoughts and feelings she held to herself ever since she began her lonely journey of self-discovery. Ardea chose to seat herself in one of the confessional booths again, for comfort's sake. There the raven-haired woman waited in silence until a new voice addressed her. From the other side of the booth, it said: "Greetings, I am Sirona. Please, tell me what’s troubling you." Without hesitation she complied.

"I have no words that can fully express the aching emptiness that I feel. I awoke without a single memory save for my name many months ago in Canelux. At that time I knew nothing, felt nothing, and only had a desperate urge to reclaim the identity I had lost. With time, a few memories returned to me and from them I sought out a seer who was able to divine more. I followed that thread connecting my past and present, finding myself before a place I had once called home. But when I entered, all I found waiting for me was a nightmare. The monastery was abandoned completely while monstrous creatures conjured forth by vile intent stalked the once silent halls. The graveyard had become a battlefield where the unliving dead rose up time and time again to reclaim ground from the fiends. The two forces had been in deadlock for years since I had been sent away, and it was thanks to a bound lich within the most fortified mausoleum that the fiends had not breached the monastery's outer walls. I know this sounds hard to believe, but it was one of the few cases where necromancy had saved more lives than it took. There was a small rural settlement not too far away which could have been slaughtered."

Ardea then recounted how she and her companion had encountered the lich, the undead lord imparting Alexander's final words and a portion of his memories that they shared together. It was then that she learned of what Pater Dietrich had become. The man was stopped from calling forth a greater evil, Ardea ending his life once and for all. It was not enough to atone for the sins the order had committed, but at least the madness would end. Now the last survivor and member of the fallen order of Sacra Rosa, it would only live on in her memory. She had learned of her origins, but at a great cost. Any family she had known was gone, Sacra Rosa was no more. 

"What should I do now? What does one do when they are left with nothing? I have nowhere to go. I have no reason left to walk this earth." Her despairing loneliness was palpable and visible through her soulless eyes. She had no other goals to drive her or lead her. Up until now she had merely lived for the order's sake. Even if she were to live for herself, what did that even mean?

The Goddess listened without interruption as Ardea confessed her sins and explained her past in detail. Troubling indeed, and Sirona felt no small amount of empathy for Ardea’s memory loss, as Sirona knew exactly what that was like herself. But while Ardea had regained her memories Sirona hadn’t, though she knew that her older sister Arti could return the memories, Sirona chose not to accept that. Those memories weren’t who she was now in this world and she wanted to remain the person she knew she was now and not go back to being like the person she used to be but didn’t know.

Sirona thought on what to say for a moment before leaning back and starting to speak. ”You have my sympathy, and my understanding, I to know what it’s like to have no memory of my past.” She started as a way to ease any tension that Ardea might have and to show that she had been in that same situation. ”Instead of pure advice, perhaps I can speak more on how I moved on from having no memories. I poured myself into studying the new world I had found myself in, I woke in Onnen so I travelled the continent while living at a Monastery not too far from here. For a time I had no idea what to do with myself, but I knew I couldn’t stay with the Monks forever, I had something I needed to do, I just didn’t know what.” She explained, leaving out some details for the sake of time. ”After the failed invasion of Canelux by the insects I started to wonder that land and then Parvpora as well. I never have recovered my full memories of my past, but I have met some of my older siblings, I am the youngest, and they have filled in some gaps.” She explained and paused for a moment to think on how to phrase this properly.

”I could get my memories in full by my older sister, but I chose not to. The woman I am now is, from what I can tell, not truly the same woman I was, and I like how I am now. There is little difference but enough. That gave me a fresh start, it’s an opportunity that you have as well, even if you have all your old memories.” Again she paused for just a moment. ”My advice? Use this opportunity to explore, not the world, but yourself inner self and how you see the world now that all that has happened is past? What one does when one has nothing is find something else, blunt, I know, but it’s the simplest way to put it. Live for yourself, if nothing else, travel and explore, the Light will guide you.” A small door clicked open between the booths, low down and from it Sirona slid a set of prayer beads through to Adrea’s side. ”Take them if you wish, as a symbol you do have a place to go and someone to speak with whenever you need it. I can offer you a place here to stay if you wish, while you find a reason. I can offer you a guiding Light and the Strength of Faith, and, of course, shelter and a hot meal.”

When the prayer beads were slid through to her side of the confession booth, the dark-haired woman slowly took them into her hands. Looking at them gave a sense of nostalgia, reminding her of better days. Back when Sacra Rosa at least kept up appearances of being an institution of benevolence and goodwill. "Thank you. I would like to stay here for a little while. At least until I collect my thoughts…" Ardea didn't know if she had been a devout individual in her past, but she gratefully accepted the goddess' offer. For the time being she had a place to ask for counsel and contemplate what she would do now. 

Up to now Ardea had always been chasing after something or someone. But with the shadows were cleared away it was time to face herself–and her own thoughts. Should she continue her search for remnants of a painful past? Or perhaps it was time to move on? Like what Alexander and…her mother would have wanted? Some habits and impressions were still hard to change. Even though she had learned that the woman was her mother, she would always be Sister Ligeia. Strength and faith were what the spellsword needed in these trying times. Especially since both had been shaken severely with what had transpired at the purged monastery. A change of pace would do her good. 

Sirona smiled as the beads were accepted by confessor in the next stall of the booth. She also accepted the offer to stay at the Cathedral for a time, which also made Sirona happy to hear. ”You are welcome to stay as long as you need.” Sirona replied. ”Would you feel comfortable stepping out of the booth? We can sit on talk face to face if you wish?” Sirona asked, figuring that if this woman was going to stay here for a time it might be wise to know what she looked like and more of who she was. Sirona, of course, would reveal nothing to anyone about what they spoke about within this room.

The woman agreed and Sirona stood and opened the door slowly and stepped out, closed the door and turned to face Ardea, bowing slightly in greeting as she did. ”Please, have a seat.” Sirona gestured to one of the chairs in the room, comfy ones to, she also gestured to the table between the chairs and a pitcher of fresh cool water appeared along with two glasses. Sirona took one of them and filled it and placed it on Ardea’s end of the table, she then filled the other and kept it for herself as she sat down, taking a sip as she did.

Now, whether Sirona’s appearance matched what Ardea thought was another question. Sirona was of average height, a few inches under six foot even in the full black and white armour she was wearing. Her raven black hair was should length and worn lose, her blue eyes were brilliant in their shine, and that was more to do with her being an angel. Speaking of, her large white feathered wings stood out on her back. The only skin that was showing was her face and some of her neck, her skin was nearly flawless and fair. So that made the black angelic tattoos on her face stand out that much more. On her cheeks, a bit by her chin and a black bar in the middle of her lower lip, perhaps not something someone would expect to see on a Goddess of Light, let alone an angel.

Once Ardea had taken a seat Sirona did as well across from her. ”Like in the booth, anything you say to me now will stay private between us.” Sirona commented to be clear on that point. ”Do you have an idea of something you’d like to do while here?” Sirona asked as a simple starting question, and, should Ardea have no answer, Sirona could offer a few ideas of her own if needed.