Dalanesca remained rather silent the entire time Serci spoke to her, allowing him to get his words across. She sipped on her wine, not showing much of a reaction to what he was saying. It was clear she was listening to him, but there were no indicators as to how she felt about what he said. Eventually, when he had finished speaking and sat back down, folding his arms across his chest, she finally spoke, gently setting her wine glass down. “It is so possible for us to be friends, Serci,” she said, frowning slightly. “I’d like nothing more than for that to be the case… but I can understand why you wouldn’t think that would be a possibility for us.” She fell silent again, sighing slightly, before speaking up once more. “Do you ever wonder how Angela and I remain so close to one another, such good friends, with the things that I do? Angela epitomizes good…. And I epitomize evil. She is the icon of pure love, where I embody lust and desire. We’re literally the exact opposite of one another, yet we love each other as sisters.” She took pause for a moment, shifting the gears of the conversation slightly.
“Neither Xunatar nor I did what we did wholly out of the desire for attention,” she said. “Being a deity, the power that the Voice gives us… it changes you. You lose a bit of who you are, and you lose a bit of control over what you do,” she said. “It’s so hard to explain, Serci, but I really want you to understand where I am coming from. I just ask that you listen to what I have to say, entirely, before making any judgments,” she said. When he said nothing, she took it as an agreement and continued speaking.
“Angela has been a god for far longer than I have,” she said. “I knew her when I was still just a mortal,” she went on, her brow furrowing slightly as it was clear she was trying to decide how best to explain. “If you ask her, she’ll have her own way of saying how the Voice has control over us, every god does really, but in the end, if you analyze it, it’s all the same. The Voice chooses what domains we control,” she said. “I haven’t always been this… sex crazed evil lunatic,” she said, laughing at herself as she realized just how ludicrous that phrase sounded. “Though can you blame me when I’m surrounded by beautiful specimens such as yourself?” She gave him a playful wink, though her smile faded when she saw the stoic look still on Serci’s face.
“You know, back when I was mortal, when I met Angela… I was a pretty good person,” she said, leaning back in her chair. Her eyes had taken on a new sort of emotion as she remembered her past. “I was fighting for the greater good, et cetera et cetera. Then, the Voice did its thing, and in the middle of the night had this intensely amazing experience where I ascended,” she said. She took a break for a moment slugging down some wine before pouring herself some more.
“I haven’t always been Death, you know,” she said. “I used to be known at the Justiciar… I held control over Order and Balance. I was in control of maintaining that fine line between good and evil, just enough of each so the world would keep turning,” she said. She glanced at Serci to see that he was still following the conversation. “I did a damn fine job of it, too. And I met this wonderful man - his name was Marth,” she said, smiling in a way that it was likely Serci had never seen her smile before. “We adored one another. I loved him so much… we were married, and then Angela informed me that Marth and I were going to be having a baby - a little girl, we were going to name her Katja,” she said.
“Something happened, though,” she said, the smile slowly fading from her lips. “Marth went out on an expedition one day and he just… never came back,” she said. “I was a wreck - I wouldn’t leave my palace, wouldn’t speak with anyone - Angela was on constant watch to help me when the time came for Katja to be born…” she trailed off, a single tear now making its way down her cheek. “Angela had problems of her own, though, and when the baby came… she didn’t get to me in time, and I lost the child,” she said, her voice quiet and broken. “I held that lifeless little baby in my arms, screaming anytime someone would touch me… or even come near me,” she said, a tear running down the other cheek.
“Well, after that, the Voice thought it hadn’t fucked me over enough by taking my daughter from me, so it tossed me down into Inferos where I became the Reaper, doom and gloom and everything that comes with it. At least it’s been kind enough to get rid of Darkness and give me Desire… but still - this wasn’t a choice that I made on my own,” she said. She could have gone into a lot more detail about things, especially with Marth and the loss of her child, but she was already showing him enough weakness.
She hastily wiped at her face with the back of her hand and took a drink of wine before clearing her throat. “Sob story, right? Anyway, I just wanted to tell you why I do some of the things I do in a way that you might understand,” she said, though she was unsure if anything she was telling Serci would have an effect on his feelings towards her. “If Angela has chosen you to be her champion, you’re a good person, through and through, but you also need to understand the configurations of the Conclave,” she said.
“Look. I don’t know what else I can tell you - but maybe you at least have some insight into why I’m like this,” she said. “You can go, if you want. Just go back through the soul stream,” she said, looking away from him and expecting him to get up and leave, but it was clear in the tone of her voice that she was hoping he wouldn’t leave - she was hoping that he would stay and the two could spend a bit more time talking. She wasn’t going to force him there any longer - she respected him - and Angela for that matter - far too much to be so aggressive.